Ways to incorporate your kids into your wedding or elopement
I have been sooo excited to write this blog post for a long time now. Something you may or may not know about me, is that I am a step-mom to an amazing 8 year old boy. Learning and growing in this new role of mine is something that I have taken very seriously from the beginning when I was first introduced to him almost 4 years ago. So when my husband and I started planning our wedding, I knew I wanted to include our kiddo into our day so that he knew he was part of this joining together. For my own wedding ceremony we included vows to my step-son from me. And we also performed a sand ceremony to represent our family coming together. Which we now proudly display our sand jar in our living room as a reminder that we are a whole family now.
So in today’s blog I wanted to include some ideas on how you can include your kids into your wedding or elopement.
Have them be in the wedding party
The first way you could include your kids in your wedding or elopement is to have them be part of the wedding party. For my wedding, we had my step-son be a ring security guard. But you could also have your kids be a bridesmaid, groomsman, best man, maid of honor, junior attendant, ring bearer, flower girl or make their own position for them for your day. Even before the wedding out son was excited to participate in the suit fittings and I know other couples who’s kids loved being apart of the planning process, trying on dresses and just feeling involved.
Exchange Vows
Exchanging vows, or promises to the kids as the new parent is a super special and sweet way to include your kids. It makes them feel important and thought about. I will never regret reading vows to my step-son and letting him know that I am serious about loving him as my own, guiding him through life and being a support to him no matter what.
Perform a unity ceremony
Like I said in the intro of this blog, my family performed a sand ceremony to represent the blending of our family during our ceremony. But there are so many other ideas you can do during your ceremony. I have seen families make a painting together, braid a rope, complete a puzzle and there are so many more ideas. I feel down a rabbit hole while researching ideas for this blog so here is a link to my Pinterest board with some more examples.
Let them Sign
Now this one is dependent on the state laws where you are getting married, and age can play a factor into letting your kids sign your marriage certificate. But I saw this example when my uncle got married, but all of his kids were adults already and they got to be witnesses and sign the certificate. You can also make your own marriage certificate that is not the official one and maybe have your younger kids sign that one as well.
Let them be part of the planning
The last way that I will include in this blog post is to let your kids be part of the planning. While I was planning my wedding I would ask my step-son his thoughts or ideas. When we picked out shoes or boutonnieres I would should him pictures and ask him what he thought. When we were making plans for what we would eat for dinner we included foods he liked as well. He got to feel included and it was super fun for me to have him be included, even if it was in little ways.
Being part of a blended family, and getting to be a bonus parent to my step-son is one of the biggest blessings in my life. I get to learn and grow from him everyday and it’s just so amazing getting to be apart of his life. So when I get to document other blended families through photography I just feel so blessed. It takes a very special person, to love other peoples kids like they are their own. And a very patient person to navigate the blended family life. Being a step-parent and photographer has taught me so much about myself, my priorities. Has pointed out my flaws but mostly has taught me my strengths. So in conclusion I hope you find ways to incorporate your kids into your wedding ceremony or elopement and I hope that these ideas give you some inspiration on how you can do that.
